Motivation Proclamation.

Loyal readers might have noticed that I have not posted lately. A lovely friend recently asked me reminded me to post. Its really gotten that bad again? I must confess that for the first time in many many weeks I woke up early. Usually since my job requires a different schedule I am up by 10 am most days. Its amazing what you can get accomplished in the morning. I did four loads of laundry already, phoned mom and dad, ate breakfast, showered, and its only 9:30am. I have forgotten how nice it is having time in the morning to get things checked off my list. If I can keep up this early streak I might even go for a run tomorrow morning! This might not seem like a big deal, but to me it is definitely post-worthy. The best part of my day so far was putting on mismatched shoes and walking out the door to the laundromat. Didn’t realize they were not a pair until I was carrying the laundry back to the apartment. So yes. The song for the day is this, Motivation Proclamation by Good Charlotte. http://youtu.be/zyYjPfSH184

Home is Where is Heart is.

I think I am ripping this off some country song, but I don’t really care. I am extremely happy today, Jason came home yesterday after being away for work for a while. It is strange getting use to this I guess him being away, and going here and there all over the place no matter where we go though as long as we are together it feels like home. When I was growing up I always hated having to move from place to place, from Atlanta where I grew up and had many childhood memories to Pittsburgh. From there, we moved to Southern Maryland to be closer to family and father opened up his own law practice. After moving to Maryland I became so used to packing up, moving again, and realized that with family it doesn’t matter what happens where you go, as long as you have each other. As I adapt to this lifestyle with Jason, I now start to remember those days of endless driving and moving from new places and meet new people as I was younger. It is slightly different when you are an adult, instead of sitting in a classroom I get to work. Instead of playing on the playground I get to sit in traffic. There are many similar challenges, and many similar benefits. I have an amazing family who loves and supports me no matter what. And the best part is, I can visit them within just a few short hours. I have a wonderful fiancee who I absolutely adore. The challenges are there, having to establish new connections, meet new people in an unfamiliar town, finding a job (which I did! check!!), and passing the hours when Jason is away. I miss him terribly when he is gone, for now he will be home and I will enjoy every minute of it. Here is my new home with him, my new family with Jason and Bailey. It has been somewhat difficult as I learn how to adjust, how to make this my life, how to make it home. I know that I have always wanted a home of own, and there are times in my life where I have seen things physically or geographically as temporary. I know in my heart with him, and with his life this is my life too now. This place or wherever we go, with us, is permanent. This commitment to each other is a home that I am not willing to leave. So he comes and goes, I will always be here waiting for you…here in this home in my heart.

Walking Hazard

Hi there! I know it has been awhile since I posted. Last time you heard from me I had mentioned I would be moving from Norwich, CT to Virginia Beach, VA. Well after a long month of changes we are finally nice a settled. Since March, I have moved from San Diego, to the North East and snow storm. After living in Connecticut for less than 2 months we moved from CT to VA Beach early May and made a pretty smooth transition.

Now it is time folks as I am learning my way around town and Jason packs up for training and soon after a deployment, to get things together and find employment. As I begin my search and work on my resume I am learning that it a little more difficult than I thought it would be. Especially since I dont know many people around here, I havent really established a network or support system yet. As I am not a Military “wife” yet…(yes readers I will be sending you details about the wedding as I have them… right now we are planning a winter/christmas ceremony) I do not really have the ties or relationships to other wives yet in the community. I do know other wives but they are either preggers or playing in the house with their children. Me, not that I don’t like or want kids because I do and I am great with kids its just that I am totally not ready for that and can’t think of things to say to them. I say random things like, hey you want to go out tonight? or do you want me to grab some beer? (to the pregnant wife)…

Now getting to the point of this post. A wise friend once dubbed me with this nickname of walking hazard. I want this person to know that maybe to you I might always be the so called “walking hazard” but I also want you (you know who you are), others and myself that I am going to take this nickname off the Sarah nickname pole. You can call me Sarbear, Sexy Beast, or Sarah Ellen, but no Walking Hazard. The history behind this nickname I am not sure how it started but I am sure it had something to do with the fact that my freshman year of college I was doing my signature dinosaur walk, puking projectile vomit onto nice white leather couches of frat houses, or running into things, or perhaps this person felt the need to label me and perhaps I might learn from my mistakes. Well oh wise one, I am letting you know after almost 10 years..almost…I am starting to.

So anyway right now as I prepare myself for the next year and a half I am trying to remember that I can do this, I have done it before. Bailey will keep me entertained. So this time is the time to focus on employment but also my career path. I want to go back to school, it is never too late I don’t think. I will remember to keep doing the things I love.

Around town in lovely NE.

Well its mid-April and finally the first signs of spring. One tulip in the garden is blooming, trees are budding (somewhat) , the sun is thinking about coming out to play. In the meantime I am enjoying my time here as I try to figure out whether on a daily basis if I am moving next month or staying in Connecticut for a couple more months. No one knows for sure unfortunately. Jason has yet to receive his formal orders to VA and until that happens we are stuck in limbo living in CT. I don’t mind if completely. I like CT.
Jason has his local hangout, the “Harp and Dragon” just down the street, pictured here… where I must take him for brunch if he is to possibly go to church with me on Sundays. This is his favorite place to watch the games or hang out with his buddies from work, drink a Guinness and enjoy some irish grub.

After Church, and err...early morning brunch and bloody marys

Bailey enjoys the new digs very much. There are lots of windows and he can always keep an eye on whats going on. He also gets plenty of love and attention for Jason. Here he is hanging out with Jason then begging for more rubs on the floor…

Bailey posing for the camera

Last weekend was J’s bday, so I surprised him with Capitals v Rangers playoff tickets at Madison Square Garden last Sunday afternoon. We drove down not bad, about three hours…and attempted to do some sightseeing before the game.

J @ MSG b4 the catcalls

We decided to try the Empire state building first and if there was time, Time square. Well, neither happened. Yes we went to the game and had some lunch prior. Even spent the good money on the tourist trap tickets for the virtual tour of the Empire State Building and Observation deck. Never made it. Stood in lines for literally two and half hours… Literally. Two hours of that was just for the virtual tour…the other was wasted on an ill run security check that is run by the biggest buffoons I have ever seen trying to maintain professionalism.

So success, for J’s birthday he said he had a great one. He loved his presents and the trip…although we didn’t have time to do much sightseeing there is always next time. I will try and convince him that a broadway show is just as important as seeing the Caps play however next time :)

Getting ready for the game!

So long Norwich CT, Hello Little Creek VA

It has been a nice little visit to Norwich Connecticut. It is a beautiful area. Got our apartment in a nice area of town. Finally settled in with all the furniture, bedroom set and finally a mattress! Even have my closet organized. I like it here ALOT. However. Duty calls. Jason was unable to get permanent orders in Norwich. Which is a good thing for his career. He was able to get amazing orders to a operational unit out of Little Creek VA. That is where we will be heading in a couple months. I don’t know the dates exactly, what Jason will be doing or what will happen. But that is okay with me. I just need to start over again. Start planning my life around our new location. We will possibly be in Virginia for the next couple years.. (I am serious this time..)

I was aimlessly walking around the town of Norwich today. I took some pictures of my favorite places. The wharf down by the river. The main street. City Hall literally 500 yards from my apartment. The beautiful gardens and rocky hills as I pass. I pause and wonder what life would be like here would things have been different. I know this is good for Jason. I actually love the Northeast. But this is what it is. My home my family is with Jason now and wherever he is I am too.

I will definitely miss Norwich. The picture below is a street where Jason and I spend alot of time in the late afternoon for happy hour or late mornings for an irish brunch at the local irish pub. The community around here is so lovely. Everyone from my Mediterranean Homies, to the ladies at the local library. The women at the rectory at my local church St. Patrick and even the priest Fr. Tony has been amazing. I am so lucky in this short amount of time to have found such a community. I am sure wherever I go I will find the same. When I go to Little Creek it will be different I am sure not as nice as the people here. But at least it will be warmer.

So finally, I am looking forward to the change. Since the moment I met Jason, (It is after all today our two year anniversary)….He asked me shortly into our “courtship”…Will you come with me to California. Without hesitation I said yes. I knew. I knew that he was an amazing guy. That he would be the one for me. That was in May 2009. Since then we have moved from Maryland (where we are originally from)….to San Diego, CA (1 yr 1/2)…to Norwich,CT….now Little Creek VA….

Whatever happens wherever we go I know that everything will work out. I love him dearly and if he is gone I will start over and find another community…another little world of my own. Bailey will always be with me. My family will be alot closer. I will love it there in VA too. And best of all….PAIGE lives there!~ So in essence all will work out fine…

General Update….

Dear seascape readers….

I have very mixed feelings about the news I have to report. Jason called me from work this morning. When he calls me during the day it is never good news.

Just some background and some of you know I have only been in Connecticut less than a month, about three weeks. We are getting our new bedroom furniture delivered tomorrow. I have found a church that I absolutely love…and somewhat already become attached. Making plans for the future somewhat nothing permanent. Just talk, tentatively setting dates. The town is lovely, the people are wonderful and have been so nice to me as I learn my way around town. Now.

So I get a call today. There is a good possibility that we will be moving again. Not right away. But in the next few months. To another duty station where Jason will be not in the clinic where he is operating now. I am not sure how I feel. I know what I have to do, I know I have to say hey, thats the NAVY life Baby! I am just surprised I guess. Now what to do…

I guess I am going to take it one step at a time. One day at a time. Jason is here, Bailey is here. I have found a community of people in the meantime, with the the church and I am getting in touch with the local NAMI. Hopefully I can figure out. How to cope. How to be in this world of the NAVY. He is used to it. He has done it for years. But it has always just been him, his truck and his seabag. Now it is us. We have a family. We are being moved around all over the country every other year, Maryland to San Diego to Connecticut….now who knows? All I know is want to be with Jason, and support him and his career. I need to figure out how to support myself at the same time.

Adventures in Norwich CT

Well we made here about two weeks ago. I am just starting to get my bearings. I am officially the owner of the Otis Library card today in Norwich CT. Very excited about that. That means I can get on the internet here instead of bothering my local Mediterranean Cafe “homies” who have this past week have really been a life saver. Basically my car is in the shop for a new alternator…My Mediterranean “homies” helped me jump my car twice last week…hang out while I did my laundry next door…and get on the internet basically every other day…

So let me tell you what I have been up to. When we first arrived to Connecticut at the end of March we checked into the Navy Lodge while awaiting the apartment finalizing paperwork for a couple days. I was very sick with a upper respiratory infection and in bed…And to top we arrived just in time for a snow storm!

First day in CT and its snowing!

So Thursday we signed our lease, maybe March 24? Got everything out of the cars and slept on the all to familiar floor with a comforter and feather bed from the car. Anyway Friday Jason goes to check into Submarine School. And guess what… They disenroll him because of something overlooked on his medical record… So they pull some strings to keep him here in CT, and he is now working as the IDC in the Groton Sub base clinic. There is still a chance he can go to sub school but it is slim. Right now all we know is that we are going to be here for at least two-three years.

Bailey was enjoying the snow I was not impressed

Then the furniture arrives. This was alot of fun. I had to deal with to idiots moving in everything. While they moved all the boxes I had to inventory everything and rush to unpack every box and place everything to make sure everything was accounted for. All within a period of two hours. Then it took these people an hour to put together a stupid coffee table. So after getting rid of them it took another day or so to get everything into place.

Living room

So I had originally positioned the couch against the windows but J wanted the couch in the middle of the room in the other direction.. Trust me…this design that he has in this picture will not last for long.. Everything in the corner is supposed to be our “library area” bookshelf for books and DVDs…we will see I dont like it right now…on the left there is a pretty fire place but it isnt operational so we put pics and candles there.

Our kitchen

So now this past week my concerns have been getting involved with my local church…St. Patricks… I am going to join the choir and the Musical Director I met this past Sunday…he showed me around the choir room and the loft… I am going to join after easter and go to their upcoming concert. Two weeks ago our first time at the church we met Monseigner or Father Tony as he likes to be called. He is so laid back and very cool. Jason likes him alot and so do I. I have done alot of thinking about this and Jason and I have decided we would liked to get married here. We have set a date…. And I will post more about that later… Here is a pic of the church…It is the most beautiful church I have ever seen…

St Pats

Inside the church (took pic before mass started okay)

Kayaks, the River, and my Best Friend

Paige:my bff

To those of you who don’t know this beautiful woman, this is Paige. My best friend. It all started when we went to Syracuse back in 2002 to play Women’s Lacrosse. She played attack, me goalkeep. We were always known as quite a pair while at Syracuse… During training in Syracuse I was the slowest and somehow Paige who was a fast girl was always somewhere in the middle to the back getting reemed by Coach Miller or Trainer Kenya. I would try hard where as Paige would have this look of indifference.

After I left Syracuse, we kept in close touch. By phone, webcam, email. You name it we did it. We both lived in MD/Va area so during our college summers we would spend most of our time with each other. When it came time to grow up and get a job…Paige went to DC and did the Mr. Smith goes to Washington successful career path.. While I bounced from North Carolina to Southern Maryland with jobs with not too much success. Then we met our current men in our lives…and life changed…we both had something to complain to the other about. For the last couple years we still have done mostly long distance since it has mostly never worked out that we have been in the same place for very long.

One thing is for sure that I know about Paige. She has always been a strong supportive force in my life. She tells it like it is. She doesn’t tolerate my bullshit. There are times when we rub each other the wrong way…There are times when the words we say hurt. And there are times that we try to do the best we can just to be there. She did that for me this past weekend. We needed to see each other. It had been way too long since our last visit when she was in CALI for a business trip last spring.

She brought her kayaks down and we went to go play in the river:

This is my favorite picture perhaps ever of the two of us. I couldn’t tell it we were posing for the camera with are arms behind each other or if we were self consciously thinking it would be fun to knock the other over right now:

After chatting and drifting too far away from shore heavy into conversation we paddled back to the house and watched the sunset over the water. I miss those beautiful sunsets. We loaded up the kayaks and I watched as Paige drove away. I was not sad. I was happy. I was happy for her, happy because it wasn’t goodbye…it never is…it is see you later mofo.

Paige and Sarbear @ sunset on Riverwinds Drive

Smile

Well it was a beatiful service, both the viewing and the mass/burial for my Grandma Ellen. All of it was was emotionally difficult. Not to mention I had little sleep after barely making it to the east coast in time for the services on Thursday afternoon. Thank goodness for Jason and my brother John for helping me get there.

On the evening of the viewing there were pictures everywhere of Grandma, showcasing the extraordinary long life she had. She loved the water, she loved her gardens and birds. She loved her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. My sister and I worked on putting together a memory board (Alexa) and myself putting together a power point that I displayed at the funeral home with pictures of the grandchildren.

As we arrived early to pay our respects on Thursday, Jason held my hand as I tried to collect myself and approach the coffin. It was so difficult. Once I saw her I smiled despite my tears. She looked so peaceful. Her nails, her hair, her makeup, her outfit…looked amazing. She would always worry about these things before going anywhere. Her make up and her lipstick especially. It was nice to see old neighbors, cousins, distant relatives, and friends at the service who had not seen me in ages. I was happy to see them and they wanted to know what I had been doing where I was going. I tried to stay away from the coffin. My mom I was so proud of her, she received everyone as they came up to the coffin, calmly, with a smile on her face. She looked so graceful, so beautiful. I couldn’t imagine how she did it.

My father did an amazing eulogy that evening and I watched in awe as I knew that I would be next to share. He talked about things in the family that I never knew. Family memories, happy memories. Things that captured grandma’s spirit.

As I got up to say my speech, I was so nervous. I stood up at the podium in front of everyone and took a deep breath. And I spoke the following words. Ending with a verse from one of my favorite songs that so reminds me of my grandmother.

” Ellen was the kindest most forgiving woman I ever met. A wonderful mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, cousin, aunt, niece, friend, and mentor. She has so many gifts and talents that she has left with each and every one of us. She was so very sincere. Uncritical. Never judged a soul. These are some of the gifts that she has left with me. My grandmother Ellen has first left me with her strength in spirit. My name is Sarah Ellen Ashworth and I proudly carry her name. She constantly reminded me despite my lack of self confidence at times my beauty. She helped me build character with her constant reminders of reassurance and love.
I remember when I was young and the excitement of visits with grandma. She had so many talents that she shared with me such as opening my first blue crab, teaching me basic sewing, showing me her birds and how to identify them, and how to garden. We would read books together and the newspaper (she would leave the cartoons for me).
As I grew into a young adult we moved to Southern Maryland. Grandmother Ellen was my sponsor when I received the sacrament of Confirmation, she witnessed me graduated both high school and college graduation.
She became my rock of support as my world spiraled downward in 2007. I underwent a series of hospitalizations that summer and spent the next two years living at home with her and my parents. At times my family had difficulty understanding. Not grandma. She never once judged me. She would say what’s the matter honey. During this time of my treatment and recovery from my illness my Grandma was there. I tried despite how difficult it was for me to spend time with my only companion, Grandma. We would have sleepovers, read books together in the sunroom, watch our favorite primetime lineup on TV. She would call my name and I would come running. ‘Sarah, I want you to do me a favor, what grandma, I need a beer out of the fridge.”
During this period one of the greatest gifts that Grandmother Ellen gave me was that she helped me renew my faith. She encouraged me to come to church with her. If I was too depressed to get out of bed she would understand but give me that “Look” I knew what that look meant. I would go the next week. After a few months of sitting with grandma I would look up at the choir and wish I could do it. She encouraged me as did my mother to go sing that she would be okay sitting in the pew. I started singing with the choir. I sang so loud, so loud to ensure that my grandma could hear me. She always said she loved seeing me up there. During the mass she would look up and wave to me and blow me a kiss.
I have been so very lucky to have had my grandmother Ellen in my life for these years. She is an extremely amazing and beautiful soul. When I am alone or when I am running, singing, I know she is watching over me. She is part of me. Part of my soul. I believe that there is part of Ellen Rossignol in all of us. Now she is at peace, in heaven with Grandma and will always be watching over me.”

“Smile though your heart is breaking, Smile even though its aching. Although a tear maybe ever so near,
If you smile through your tears and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow, you’ll see the sun come sun shining through if you just SMILE…

The funeral service the next morning was beautiful. Grandma wanted it performed at her church: Our Lady’s of Medleys Neck. A small quiet catholic church up on a hill. My sister and I did the readings. I held it together till the end when the palm bearers my family and others walked out with my Grandmother in the procession. I tried. I tried to be happy. It was a beautiful day. We drove the procession all the way to Silver Spring, where she was laid to rest at the family plot next to Grandpa Rossignol and and Uncle Jack Rossignol. The family was there, we said our goodbyes. I laid a single red rose between Grandma Ellen and Grandpa’s tombstone. As I told Grandma goodbye I promised her I would smile, laugh and live a long happy life as she always did.

San Diego to Maryland in 3 1/2 days

It was quite a trip. We left San Diego early Monday and arrived Thursday early afternoon in Southern Maryland. I have no idea how we made it across so quickly. We probably had a few angels watching out for us, considering we drove safely the entire time, driving the speed limit and extremely long hours. My brother at the last minute also flew in to help us with the driving and this helped us immensely.

Left San Diego early Monday morning and decided to take the Rt 40. But we took the scenic route on the way out. Showed my brother downtown San Diego on the way out of town. Took Rte 8 East to hook up to the 10 and head north through Phoenix and eventually hit Flagstaff. John took some pics as we approached Flagstaff. The weather difference in Phoenix was outrageous compared to Flagstaff. It was 92 degrees in Southern Arizona, and as we pulled into Flagstaff at the sun came down it was around 39 degrees!

Day 1

John seemed really excited to see the country. I think he was impressed with the landscape out west and how it changed when we got to New Mexico. It became complete grassland. Mountains and desert to grassland for miles…

Southern Arizona

This was the view of the Sedona valley, John kept reaching over me as I was driving around the mountain range about 6,000 feet in elevation to get a good shot of the sunset. It was very exciting. With a frantic golden retriever in the car and a little brother who had never seen Arizona matter of fact never been out of Maryland…I had my hands full on the first day of driving.

Northern Arizona

We had to stop in Flagstaff, AZ for something to eat. We decided on Carl’s Jr. John got the Terriyaki Burger. He loved Carl’s Jr. It is definitely a west coast thing. We got about an hour outside of Flagstaff that night and stayed the night around 10pm we stopped for the night.

The next morning we got an early start on Tuesday. We made it quickly through New Mexico, and stopped stopped in Amarillo, TX. We had to go to the BIG TEXAN. It is known for the 72 oz steak. If you can finish it in one hour you can get it for free. One poor guy was sitting at the table with the clock going. He had 2 minutes left and 2 slices left. Couldn’t quite make it. The catch is if you can’t eat it all not only do you get sick, you pay 72 dollars for the steak.
I begged John to take some pictures of me there, Jason was about pictured out.

The Big TEXAN

Here I am with my new cowgirl hat which I was very excited about. Of course Bail bail crushed it afterwards.

Sarah the cowgirl

John and the big boot. He is 6’6″ This boot is still huge in comparison.

John at the big Texan

Jason wasn’t really down for many pictures. He was pictured out from graduation (IDC) graduation which I will get to….

So anyway we got back on the road…through texas…into Oklahoma…and got stuck in traffic. It was great. Bailey hates traffic. As long as you put the window down he is okay. He was climbing on top of the cooler on my side and sticking his head out to check out what the deal was with the back up.

So we made it through four states on tuesday: Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, and Oklahoma. We stayed the night on the border of Oklahoma and Arkansas in a town calledwn called Fort Smith around 12 pm Midnight. We were all exhausted.

Got up 530am the next morning and on the road by 7pm for the longest day of the whole trip we had alot of road still to travel on Day 3. We started at 7pm and didnt get off the road till 1pm. So around 18 hours on the road. We drove from Arkansas, and all the way through Tennesee. Which is insanse. There was so much construction and traffic. At one point on I 40 in Tennesee literally 10 miles from the 81 North we were stuck in traffic for an hour and half.

Memphis, TN (crossing Miss,river) I took this while driving very safe

Crossing into Tenesee the longest state ever!

So after passing through Memphis we missed my favorite BBQ shack along the border so it was getting late and it was grub time. I saw a billboard for some authentic country southern food along the 40 in Western Arkansas. It was a little difficult to find off the exit, after asking for directions from the locals at the gas station she told me to keep going down the side road till I saw the “choo choo” train. I said Ok lets go. Jason wasn’t very excited. He was especially happy when I slammed on the brakes to take a this picture:

Old Country buffet in Arkansas

We stayed the night somewhere in Virginia on the 81 North right on the border of Tenessee and Virginia. We had about 6-7 hours to make it to Maryland. John took this picture of the sunrise as we came into the Shenadoah Mountains of Virginia.

Bailey and I

Finally we were in Maryland: I was so happy. So was bailey, so was John.

They are filled with joyous open mouths singing Maryand! Oh Maryland!

Here is Day 3.5 Bailey and I very excited: